Wear Joy

I had known for a while that I should clear out my closet and get rid of some old clothes and shoes. I didn't realize how badly I needed to do this until one day I counted the number of dresses and skirts I own, and I came up with something like twenty and eighteen. And less than half of those were getting used. 

Last year my mom read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up (yes, the book that tells you to toss anything that doesn't bring you joy) and she was able to fill several garbage bags with clothes that she then donated. When an aunt who lives near me did the same thing, I knew that book would give me the push I needed.

I read the whole book, got in the right mindset, and set every piece of my clothing on the bed. I pulled down everything that was hanging in the closet, emptied my drawers, and found clothing that I had forgotten about in boxes under the bed. Maternity clothes were heaped on there too.

Here is the little man getting boxed in by my clothes:

The process was actually quick and I almost always knew what items would go in the "see ya!" bin before picking them up. It was nice to finally move on from pants that hadn't ever fit me quite right, or tops that I no longer felt good in. In the end I got rid of over thirty-five shirts and sweaters, ten pairs of pants, and at least ten dresses. I can't quite remember because I lost my tally sheet.

All of these items were packed up in a big box and hauled off to my younger sister, who will try and sell them. Maybe I'll make enough cash to buy a few replacement shirts since I now have a small number of short-sleeved tops.

My next step is to evaluate my shoes and jewelry, both of which I have lots of but never wear. Then books and movies. Then maybe I can convince Jared to assess the joy that his clothes bring him. Or I can tell him the joy that they bring me....

But in all seriousness I am glad to have read the "Tidying Up" book. It has helped me when I come across something I know I don't need but still want to hang on to. It taught me that everything has a purpose, and I can let go once that purpose has been fulfilled. I enjoy the feeling of donating or throwing out whatever doesn't enhance my life. I enjoy simplifying. I enjoy looking around and seeing a clean living space. I enjoy knowing that I don't need a lot to be happy, and neither does my child.

Family Photos

The Birth Story

My first real contraction came at 4:17pm on Friday the 16th. I had four within the hour, but then they stopped altogether...for about two hours. They say to time your contractions and not head to the hospital until contractions are consistently spaced apart and occurring about every five minutes. For the next five hours mine were coming after breaks of eight, five, then fifteen, and twenty minutes. I felt like they were all over the place.

Jared fell asleep around 11:30pm. He was dressed in jeans and a nice shirt for the hospital, though skeptical about the arrival of our baby because I told him it could still happen next week. So naive. I knew I wouldn't sleep that night, but I laid in bed and suffered until 12:30am, when I had a contraction so strong that I felt the need to vomit. I didn't, but fifteen minutes later was when my contractions kicked into high gear and were coming every three minutes or less. I used an app to track them and kept telling myself, "These need to last an hour before we can do anything". Again, so naive! 

At 1:30am I was reunited with my first trimester barf bucket, and decided it was time to wake up Jared. "I want to go to the hospital." He thought I was joking! While he gathered our bags, I knelt on the floor with my arms on the bed, and wondered how I would make it to the car. When a contraction ended I dressed in a super attractive maxi skirt, baggy shirt, and sandals, and said goodbye to our apartment. We left at 2am, arriving at the hospital ER about fifteen minutes later. 

A man was waiting in the parking lot to assist patients, thank goodness. He got me into a wheelchair, then passed me off to a nurse who wheeled me inside. I was asked a few questions, signed a few forms, and was taken to the childbirth center. It reminded me a lot of when I was wheeled off the ship after our honeymoon. 

We stopped at the nurses' desk where about four women were sitting, dressed in their blue scrubs. They asked for my SSN, and I was able to give them three numbers before the pain became too intense and I threw up again. Luckily I still had my bucket with me! I gave the nurses what they wanted and was finally taken to my delivery room, where I changed into my pink gown and gave one last urine sample for this pregnancy. 

My nurse Karen checked my cervix. "Lauren, I don't want to surprise you, but you are at a seven." I was kind of impressed with myself, but then was worried because most of my friends said they got an epidural at 3cm. 

For the next hour I sat up in bed, criss-cross applesauce, holding Jared's hand through the contractions as I received my IV and had blood drawn. I tried to breathe through the pain and not scream, but that didn't always happen. I told the nurse, "my face is tingling", and she said I was hyperventilating, then helped me to control my breathing. At one point I turned to bite Jared but pulled back when I realized what I was doing. Crazy wife. Jared was calm and encouraging throughout the entire thing.

Before the epidural arrived, my nurse asked me to lay down so she could check me again, but I told her no! She made me two minutes later when a contraction subsided.

10cm dilated.

Epidural. Sweet relief, warm legs. I could open my eyes and talk again! I almost wish the nurse had told me not to get the epidural because I was already through the worst part of labor, but at the time I was in love with the anesthesia. 

My midwife arrived, looking very sleepy, around 4:15am and said my baby was coming very soon, within a half hour. The room was filled with random nurses. I guess the epidural caused me to have less effective pushes from not entirely feeling what I was doing, because it was an hour and forty-five minutes before I saw my baby. Many of the nurses had left the room during that time, but I had Jared on my right, nurse Karen on my left, and my midwife watching the baby. I was told, "Just a few more pushes, harder, harder!" then I felt his head pop out and heard "Stop pushing!" from the midwife, and "woah, woah, woah!" from my husband.

It was 6:30am when I first saw baby G, a little purple gargoyle already pooping and peeing when placed in my arms. I looked at Jared and started to tear up. I always thought I would cry, but I think I was too shocked and mesmerized by everything that happened that night, and the tears quickly passed.

The nurses all told me I did great (sure, sure) and that next time I need to get to the hospital sooner. Duly noted!

Welcome to the world, baby G.

Recording contractions on my phone

After the epidural. We sent this picture via text to my family at 4am. Surprise!

Jared feeling pretty good

The nurse rolled me on my side and gave me oxygen to keep the baby happy.

First family photo. Baby G came out crying.

First swaddle

Pregnancy Update

Due date is Saturday, baby boy is in position, and we are ready to go.

Overall it's been a very healthy pregnancy. I have gained 28 pounds since February, 36 if you include the eight I lost in the first trimester, and people tell me it looks like I have a basketball attached to my stomach.

The last few weeks haven't exactly been comfortable, but I have fortunately avoided many of the negative symptoms in the third trimester such as swelling, heartburn, insomnia, backaches, sciatic nerve pain, leg cramps, and waddling. I have experienced some of these, but they have always been mild and short-lived. I get up only once during the night to use the bathroom, even though I drink a lot during the day, and as long as I eat and sit in front of the air conditioner, I don't get nauseous. I still don't have a lot of energy and it's difficult to get up once I'm sitting down, but I'm already being tricked into forgetting the beginning of all of this, and thinking I could survive another pregnancy.

Two days ago I met with one of the four nurse midwives that could deliver my baby, and after checking my cervix, she said that the baby is very low and coming very soon! She also said it's likely that my water will break, signaling that it's time to head to the hospital, and there's a good chance I will deliver before 41 weeks, which is the 24th. Crazy, crazy. I think we're ready....

And you better believe I'm sitting on a towel on the couch right now. 

Lauren's 1st Trimester

This week I returned to work part-time after taking two months off to deal with my morning sickness. I don't always feel well in the morning as I'm driving, but once I'm at work I get distracted and forget about how sick I might be if I were still in bed.

Jared and I were very excited and somewhat surprised when we learned that I was pregnant. We found out at home in February, when I was four weeks and four days along. I felt great, optimistic, and ready to eat whatever I could. Then the nausea, vomiting, and food aversions hit me one week later, and I began missing work.

Over the next two weeks I refused to get out of bed and leave my room because the smell of the bathroom and our front room made me vomit. I was on medication by then, but still nauseous all day, and barely eating. I lost eight pounds, and am positive I would have wound up in the hospital if my mother-in-law had not driven up from San Diego to take me back to her house. For three weeks she brought me breakfast in bed and made sure I had something to eat every two hours. She also had me get outside and walk around so I would have some exercise, and made sure I bathed. I was seriously disgusting. My hair got so tangled that my mil spent several hours and days combing and cutting it, which led me to get my hair cut to my shoulders. We watched at least one movie every day while I lived on the couch, and I slowly started to have "good" days.

At twelve weeks along the nausea and vomiting stopped, though I continue to take medicine to prevent those, and now at sixteen weeks I'm getting my own breakfast, and working four hours a day. I'm still wearing my pre-pregnancy clothes, but my stomach is definitely growing. Baby is the size of a pickle, and we will find out the gender on May 15th.

I'm of course a little afraid of what my body will go through to have this baby, but Jared and I are ready to share what we have with our child, and are eagerly awaiting his/her arrival this Fall. Peace out first trimester!

Ultrasound at 9 weeks along

Murder at the Deadwood Saloon

Last night Jared and I attended our first murder mystery party, wild west style, as a business man and saloon dancer, respectively. My cousin Aubrey organized and hosted the party: Murder at the Deadwood Saloon. I really won't give any details about the murder, but I will tell you that after Jared's character paid $10 to dance with me, promised to take me out east and support me financially, he was shot and killed. I wasn't too upset because I found his mustache repelling and I knew I wasn't the only girl he had been sweet-talking in Deadwood.

Celebrating the winner of the Deadwood poker tournament

We were each given a list of tasks to accomplish and people to talk to. At one point I had to approach another girl and tell her to stop talking to so many of the gentlemen, as she was taking away many of my dance partners. I later had to confront her and insist that I had seen her spending lots of time with Jared's character, and she admitted to dating him.

My uncle played the role of the federal marshal and was very good at keeping information from me. I thought I could get him to talk during a dance, but when I invited him to join me he stated that he "could not afford me" and did not participate in "sultry activities". Well! saloon girls are very respected in their towns so I told him that if he continued to speak to me like that, I would have him thrown out of the saloon.

"Well ma'am, then I will come back here with a warrant and shut this saloon down!"

"Oh marshal, I do apologize for what I said. You enjoy yourself." I was trying very hard to keep my job.

Federal marshal and Saloon girl Taffy

As the night went on, we found that no one could be trusted as we worked to solve the mystery. Jared became a ghost, haunting the saloon while also trying to uncover his killer, and in the end he was one of three people to correctly guess the murderer.

Presenting the evidence

Aubrey did a great job with this party. The food, music, decorations, costumes, and accents were all fantastic, but I'm glad my days of soliciting dances is over. Ten dollars a night isn't much to live on.

Two Months in Review

About a week after the family reunion, I drove to visit my sister for her big birthday. I brought along the recipe book Your Cup of Cake, and let Ami choose the cupcakes I would make: Reeses Peanut Butter (click here for the recipe).

Because Ami and I both have August birthdays, we cashed in on several free meals and ate out somewhere every day. We also went to a Safari park for free, where we fed a giraffe and a tiger.

On my last day we tried to take family photos, but Little L didn't agree with that....

On August 11th Jared and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. I left Ami's house in the morning and met Jared at the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and dessert.

In mid-August I had a two day, hands-on training for work. I only mention this because in the training I learned how to block kicks and punches, and escape from biting and grabbing children. Yes, I need to know this for my job.

As an end to Summer and a hurrah for me before starting a new job, Jared and I went on a four day cruise to Catalina Island and Mexico.

We celebrated my birthday on the cruise with room service breakfast, a walk around Ensenada, and a two hour nap. Here's 26 year old me with my birthday sombrero. I'm just now noticing all the bird poop on the rock in the picture. Ew.

Although I now work and come home exhausted each day, we have still been able to squeeze in some fun. In September we went to our first Angel's game,

saw Ami (again!), and went with her to Disneyland and Knott's Berry Farm.

We also joined a book club and spent a day in San Diego with family.

Wow, that really sounds like a lot now that I've written it all down. But the last two days have been relaxing as we've watched our worldwide Church conference - eight hours of spiritual music, talks, and guidance, which I will later re-visit here. I hope you will too.

Now on to October!